The reason for her silence? Well, aside from the understandable three-month rule – that vulnerable first trimester in any woman's pregnancy – Snooki is hoping to cash in on her fetus bombshell, Kardashian-style.
"Though she has publicly denied she's expecting, sources say trashy
Jersey Shore guidette Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is indeed pregnant and has plans to bankroll her mommy-to-be status into becoming "the next Kourtney Kardashian."
"Sources said the reality star, who denied being preggers earlier this month, has already brokered a deal to announce the news on the cover of Us Weekly after she shopped the story to several celebrity magazines." [via Page Six.]
And really, why not? We, as a society, have created a climate wherein a person biologically composed of 90 per cent vodka and self-tanner can make millions for successfully getting impregnated. Snooki is our responsibility.
Meanwhile, over in the evil basement laboratory where the Snooki creature was welded together with a crate of empty Absolut bottles and a dusty old UV lamp, the reality star's creators are none too pleased (that they didn't think of it first).
"'MTV went into crisis mode after they found out,' a source told Page Six. 'They're trying to hide it because it would greatly affect the creative direction of the show.' The untitled new show has just begun taping and focuses on the ladies' relationship as friends and roommates — and whatever adventures come their way."
I'm inclined to believe everything about this story except the part where MTV is upset. They must be licking their chops at the publicity Snooki's womb will bring to their series.
Now that the cat is out of the laundry bag, TMZ expects an official announcement forthwith. Stay tuned, folks.
THE REST OF THE WEB
Goop, Cameron, Reese and Beyoncé take on the Spice Girls (Lainey Gossip)
Kim Kardashian thinks she can land a prince (Cele|Bitchy)
Does Kristen Stewart really care about Paris Fashion Week? (PopSugar)
Rachel Bilson thinks women who wear revealing dresses are sluts (Jezebel)
J.Lo is a boxer now (Amy Grindhouse)
