Ouch! Seems like Kris Humphries has gone from "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" to "Keeping Kris Up All Night." No, it's not a new reality show, but if you think Michael Jackson had bad insomnia, which I relate to. You'd better believe that Kris Humphries will be up at nights wondering how in the heck he'll ever beat or even play an even game with estranged soon to be ex-wife Kim Kardashian. No, he's not so worried about Kim's tough mother Kris Jenner, or her "Dancing With the Stars" brother Rob, kicking his butt. No, the one who will soon be kicking his butt is the legendary divorce attorney Laura Wasser! TMZ is reporting that Kris Humphries' hope that he could use his hometown Minnesota attorney has been rejected, and his L.A. attorney has removed himself from the case; so I suspect Kris will soon find a reason to settle this divorce really quickly, or face the wrath of a courtroom god face to face.
I'm pretty tough, but not even I would go up against Ms. Wasser in court. And anyone else with half a brain would not even entertain the idea. Perhaps my pal Gloria Allred or her daughter Lisa Bloom, who are two of the mightiest titans in the L.A. courtroom. Anyhow, no word on what Kris will do next, but he'd better be looking for the exits when he arrives in the L.A. Courtroom which will hear his case. Sorry, Kris; but not even the Judge can save you now!
The $8 million dollar (per year) man in sports, had better check out Laura's credentials if he hasn't already. Some of her famous clients and high profile divorce cases? Maria Shriver, we now know Arnold is trying to kiss and make up, and not with the maid either! Ryan Reynolds, Kiefer Sutherland, who had enough sense to get on the side of the Americans in Fox's "24" and to hire Laura Wasser to protect him from his ex, Jennifer Aniston. She ended up with the house and a bundle of cash! Angelina Jolie is also one of Laura's former clients. She ended up with Brad Pitt. Well, perhaps that has nothing to do with Laura; but she even had a blind man (Stevie Wonder) singing ballads when she represented him in his divorce hearing too. And he's now living in a mansion in Trousdale, one of Beverly Hills's ritziest conclaves.
TMZ also says, Kris Humphries has filed legal documents in his divorce case appointing himself as his own lawyer! He'd better write his own prescription for antacids and anti-depressants too. May I suggest Mickey Fine's Pharmacy down the street from these offices?
Written By: Tommy Lightfoot Garrett
Photographs are Courtesy: E!
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